


Pokemon Go (Fuck Off)

by mrcheesecat



Series: Me and You [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Pokemon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 16:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14216817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrcheesecat/pseuds/mrcheesecat
Summary: Where Dong Sicheng has to fight to keep boys away from his precious Pokemon-loving cutie and reveals their kinks in front of Yukhei in the process and it turns out that Kun really does care.





	Pokemon Go (Fuck Off)

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I've never played Pokemon Go  
> I don't know anything about Pokemon in general

Kun loves Pokemon. It's a known fact. 

Sicheng loves Kun. It's a known fact. 

But he really hates some of Kun’s new friends. Actually, they're not friends, they're little bitches who have come to take Kun away from Sicheng and that's something he won't stand for. He'll murder them before they come on too strong.

Gotta catch ‘em all. 

  
  


Kun’s newest friend, Kim Jungwoo, is over playing video games with Kun and Sicheng glares, brooding, from the kitchen while eating from a tub of ice cream. 

Kun says something that makes Jungwoo laugh and he leans into Kun, shaking. Sicheng narrows his eyes as Kun doesn't move away, allowing Jungwoo to snuggle up to him. He snorts; his boyfriend is so oblivious. 

Kun suddenly shrieks with excitement and jumps up from the couch, pumping his fist into the air. 

“You won again,” Jungwoo whines and Sicheng sees him eyeing Kun’s stomach where his shirt has ridden up. “Kun-hyung, go easy on me!” 

Kun laughs and reaches down to ruffle Jungwoo’s silver hair. “Yah, last time, you didn't go easy on me! You're so good at video games, today I'm just lucky!” 

“Video games aren't the only things I'm good at,” Jungwoo mutters and while Kun doesn't seem to hear him, Sicheng does. 

He slams his spoon on the counter angrily, catching their attention. “Kun, is it okay if I talk to Jungwoo? I want to get to know him better.” Jungwoo narrows his eyes at Sicheng. 

“Oh sure!” Kun smiles brightly. “I have to go check on my laundry anyway!” He shoots Jungwoo a thumbs up and leaves the living room. 

Jungwoo stands up and walks to Sicheng in the kitchen, smirking. “I heard Kun has a nice dick, is that true? I'm looking forward to it.” 

Sicheng scowls and shoves his spoon with melting ice cream in the other's face. “This spoon is going to be the only thing going up your ass, you little bitch.” 

“Please!” Jungwoo scoffs. “It's obvious Kun wants me as his side hoe.”

“Kun would never be that desperate!” Sicheng hisses. 

“I challenge you to a duel! For Kun’s dick! Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh?” Jungwoo sneers at his opponent.

“Pokemon,” Sicheng scoffs. It's Kun’s favorite and besides, Yu-Gi-Oh is for babies. 

If there's anything Sicheng has learned from being in a relationship with his beautiful boyfriend, it's Pokemon. 

Pokemon is to Kun as ice cream is to Sicheng. 

It's life. 

 

Sicheng easily defeats Jungwoo before Kun finishes and drop kicks him back to hell. Kun comes back to see his boyfriend sitting at the table, Pokemon cards spread out haphazardly in front of him, smiling. 

“Where's Jungwoo?” Kun asks, looking around. The bathroom door is open and Kun doesn't know where else he could be. 

“Sitting on Satan's dick,” Sicheng cackles, only to cower in his seat when Kun glares down at him.

  
  


-

  
  


Usually, Sicheng can say whatever he likes, whenever he likes, to Kun because all of their friends are Korean--except Yuta, but Kun still hates him--and they don't understand Chinese. Usually, it's ice cream or dirty talk, but that's not important. 

What is important is that stupidly, horribly, disgustingly attractive Wong Yukhei is Chinese and is able to understand everything Sicheng says. It makes Sicheng scream obscenities, which he gets lectured for by Kun. 

“It doesn't seem to bother you in bed,” is what the younger replies every time, and it makes Kun want to die. 

Sicheng would speak Korean with Yukhei around but he knows the language better than Sicheng. His English is so atrocious, he doesn't even want to try. The only Japanese he knows is from Sailor Moon and Tokyo Mew Mew but Kun had forbidden anything Japanese since what became known as the Yuta Incident.

 

So here Kun and Sicheng are, helping Yukhei move boxes into his new apartment. Well, Kun is helping, Sicheng is shifting through the contents. 

“Sicheng!” Kun snaps. “You can't just look through people's boxes! It's an invasion of privacy!” 

“You know what's an invasion of privacy? Yukhei coming into our lives, that's what. My life was great until he entered the picture!” 

“Don't be mean!” Kun chides. “Yukhei is new to Korea and he barely knows anyone.”

The front door opens and Yukhei calls, “Kun! I'm back!”

“Here,” Kun calls back and Yukhei rounds the corner into his living room.

“I got us some--” He stops short upon seeing Sicheng. “Oh. You brought Sicheng.” 

“We could use the extra help,” Kun says with a smile. “Plus, you two can get to know each other.” 

“Hey, whore,” Sicheng greets casually and Kun smacks him. He whines but says, “There's my Kinky Kun.” Kun punches him and Sicheng finishes with, “Oh, fist me, daddy.”

Kun screams in embarrassment and mortification and Yukhei only stops him from strangling Sicheng because he doesn't want a dead body inside his new apartment.

 

“Yukhei, play Pokemon with us,” Kun says with an angelic smile after they've (Kun) helped Yukhei unpack. He pulls out his cards and Sicheng sits across from him.

Yukhei sits in between them, his eyes wide. “What's Pokemon?” He questions in a soft voice. 

Kun stares in complete and utter horror at the question, cards falling from his limp hands. “P-Pokemon,” he sputters. 

Sicheng can tell his boyfriend is having a hard time comprehending Yukhei’s words. He frowns. The kid must've lived under a rock or something.

Yukhei blinks and Kun falls from his chair dramatically, shrieking. 

“Wow.” Sicheng eyes the whole spectacle mildly. On the outside he's calm, but on the inside, he's screaming with triumph. He's won. And he didn't even have a do anything.

“Wow, look at the time!” Kun glances at his wrist. He doesn't own a watch. “It's so late, we really have to get home! So sorry, Yukhei!”

Yukhei stands and scrambles for Kun but he and Sicheng are already halfway out the door, Kun’s Pokemon cards tucked safely into his jacket pocket. “Kun!” He calls desperately but Kun drags Sicheng out.

“Bye!” He waves without looking back and Sicheng almost feels sorry for how dejected Yukhei looks, but then Kun grabs his ass and Sicheng decides that he doesn't care. 

He'd take Kun’s hand on his ass over anything, anytime.

  
  


-

  
  
  


“You're going with me to my work party tonight, right?” Kun asks as he steps out of the shower. 

“Yeah,” Sicheng calls back, laying on Kun’s bed, scrolling through his Facebook. 

“You'll have to meet my new friend, Park Chanyeol!” Kun says excitedly. “He's an amazing producer!” 

Sicheng grunts. There's no possible way this Pan Cakeyolk could be  _ amazing.  _ “Maybe you should set your standards higher,” he comments.

Kun purses his lips, glaring down at his boyfriend on the bed. “They're pretty low, aren't they? I've got you as a boyfriend.”

“Ooh, I like when you talk dirty,” Sicheng says, ignoring Kun’s insult. Kun only rolls his eyes and gets dressed.

  
  


“Sicheng! This is my new coworker, Chanyeol!” Kun exclaims, waving over his boyfriend. Beside him is a very tall man with big ears sticking out from his curly brown hair and a wide smile that is definitely creepy. “I'll be back, I'm going to get a drink!” 

“Hello, Chanhole,” Sicheng says monotonously, watching Kun leave.

Kun’s coworker blinks then narrows his eyes. “Hey. It's Shitting, right?” He gives Sicheng a smirk. 

“Sicheng, you'll have to introduce me to your friend,” a newcomer says and Baekhyun slides up next to Sicheng with a sultry look. “I'm Byun Baekhyun, Junmyeon’s friend.”

“This is Prick Cockwhore,” Sicheng introduces, giving a fake friendly smile. 

“Nice to meet you, Butt Blasthorn,” Cockwhore replies, distracted, and looks around. “Sorry, but I need to find Kun.” He walks off, leaving Baekhyun shook and Sicheng scowling. 

“Not on my watch,” the Chinese man snarls and stomps off to find his boyfriend. 

“Butt Blasthorn?” Baekhyun whimpers to himself. “My farts aren't that bad…”

  
  


Sicheng spends what seems like hours (it was two minutes) looking for his boyfriend, only to find him conversing with Piss Cityshit. The taller man has an arm draped around Kun and the two are laughing at something. 

Sicheng grunts in annoyance and stomps over, flinging Clickbait’s arm off of Kun. “That's enough, Pantyhose Coconut.”

“Cheng!” Kun protests. 

“No, it’s okay, Kunnie,” Circus says with a grin and holds up a hand. 

Kun sighs and walks off. “I'm going to talk to Yixing-ge.” 

Sicheng turns back to the other man. “Back off, Carrie, you fucking slut.” 

“You don't deserve Kun,” Crocodile snaps, towering over Sicheng. 

“You're wrong,” Sicheng growls back. “Kun-ge fought Taeyong-ge, Yoonoh-ge, and Yuta-ge for me! And I'm willing to do  _ anything  _ for him.” Neither notice Kun crane his head to listen to Sicheng and smile softly at his boyfriend's words. 

Canister narrows his eyes. “Anything?”

Sicheng nods, determined to overcome whatever Chicken throws his way.

“Pokemon Go. Whoever can catch the most Pokemon wins.”

“Deal,” Sicheng agrees, at ease. Kun is obsessed with the game and Sicheng is practically a pro thanks to his boyfriend. 

“I'm not some prize to be won,” Kun complains mildly from where he and Yixing are talking. 

“Don't worry, babe,” Sicheng coos as he whips out his phone. “I’ve got you.” He flashes Kun a grin and follows Cookie out of the room and to the elevator. 

“Shouldn't you go after them?” Yixing asks as the two watch the others exit.

Kun pauses and then nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I should. Thanks, ge!” He follows Sicheng and Chanyeol out of the office building and watches as they glare at each other before going in seperate directions. 

“Sicheng!” Kun calls to his boyfriend when his coworker is out of earshot. “Sicheng!”

Sicheng turns and blinks in surprise at the sight of Kun. “Kun, what are you doing?”

“I heard what you said earlier,” Kun replies. 

“Yeah.” Sicheng nods, confused. “I got you.”

“Not that,” Kun snaps. “What you said about how you would do anything for me.” His grimace turns to a shy smile. 

“Oh. That.” Sicheng’s cheeks turn pink and he glances at the sidewalk. 

“I just-” Kun pauses, flustered. “I just wanted to say thank you. It meant a lot to me because you mean a lot to me and--and I love you!”

Sicheng’s mouth hangs open in shock at the words while Kun wrings his hands. “R-Really?” He squeaks.

Kun bites his lip and nods, looking up into Sicheng’s eyes bashfully. “Yes.”

Sicheng giggles, high-pitched, and he grabs Kun in his arms, squishing the elder to his chest. “I love you, too, Kunnie!” 

Kun grins into Sicheng’s shirt and holds on tight to him. “I love you,” he murmurs again. 

“I guess I don’t have to compete for your love then,” Sicheng chuckles, pulling away. 

Kun rolls his eyes and punches Sicheng lightly. “You never had to, you idiot. You had my heart from the start.” He glances down the opposite end of the block in concern. “What about Chanyeol? Should we go find him?”

“Who?” Sicheng says, nibbling on Kun’s neck. 

“Chanyeol!” Kun protests with a laugh, pushing at Sicheng. “My coworker!”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Sicheng mutters and slings an arm around Kun before pressing a kiss to his head. 

Sicheng and Kun get down and dirty and spend the rest of the night eating ice cream and watching Pokemon cartoons at Kun’s while Passive Chauncey hunts down a Jigglypuff.

  
  


-

  
  
  


The office lights are off as Chanyeol approaches the building after his mission. He's been successful; he caught 54 Pokemon, a hard feat, and his triumphant smirk falters as he stares at the dark building in confusion. “Where is everyone?” He asks himself, shivering in the cold. 

“They're all gone. Except me.” Baekhyun emerges from the shadows, grin on his face. 


End file.
